‘Tis definitely not the season

A thousand apologies for failing to deliver on that alternative holiday cocktail list I mentioned months ago.  For any of you surprised or offended by this lack of follow through, take that as an indication that you clearly aren’t familiar with how on top of things the boy behind this blog really is.

Timing aside, the concept of making holiday themed cocktails that don’t employ gross amounts of sugar, peppermint schnapps and candy canes was an intriguing one, so - while inexcusably late - I have not given up on it just yet.  As a matter of fact, I had - at the original time of the post - been offered a challenge upon mentioning the evils of the overly-processed, syrupy throat-spackle we commonly refer to as ‘eggnog’ when my dear friend and epicurean artíst, Gabriell, chose to advocate on behalf of ‘quality’ eggnog.  I was skeptical (as is my nature), but after making some eggnog from scratch for myself (eggs, heavy cream, milk, raw sugar, vanilla and homemade orange/clove infused brandy), I realized that there was such a thing as palatable - nay, decent - eggnog that wouldn’t leave you in a diabetic coma after one cup (okay, maybe it may still, but at least it wouldn’t taste like it).

I must be honest with you, this has been an epic move for me in terms of venturing further into the use and consumption of ‘raw’ animal products.  Seafood was a big jump for me in high school, but for ages raw eggs always translated to “salmonella” to me (remember: Chris = hypocondriac).  But here I was, mixing a dozen raw eggs into a beverage I’d be drinking neat…guts intact.

TANGENT: While we’re on the subject, I’m going to take this time to plug a ridiculous “beernog” recipe from a brilliant beer and cheese monger, Randy Clemens.  Give it a read, then read on.  Not only is he a better writer than I; he also touches on a broader scope of all things food-and-drink.  Speaking of which, he entered his own video in a contest to be on “Grill it! With Bobby Flay,” that you should vote for.  Not only does he deserve to win the spot, but I have asked him to kick Flay in the nuts for my own personal satisfaction in the event that he win (the former being very unlikely to occur).  Seriously, it’s a bad-ass video and recipe he shares: I’d watch it just for the food porn. Go. Do it now. Read this later…

Wait. Where was I going with this?  Where did this all come from!?

Oh right.

After revisiting one of my favorite comics, I was reminded of the few egg-containing cocktails I had had (namely, a ramos gin fizz  and a pisco sour) and felt that it was time to ’speriment, myself, all the while keeping Gabe’s original request for an eggnog-inclusive cocktail.  The specifics have to be ironed out, but here’s what I’ve got so far:

Hall o’ Deck

•  1.5 oz bourbon, rum or brandy

•  1/2 oz cinnamon simple syrup

•  3 dashes Fee Bros. Old-Fashioned bitters

•  2 oz heavy creme

•  1 small (preferably ‘farm-fresh’) egg

•  Fresh nutmeg

Start by separating the egg whites from the yolk into your mixing glass. You may use either egg whites (for a lighter drink) or yolk (for a heartier one), but I doubt you’d want the whole egg in there.  With either the whites or yolk in your mixing glass, engage your mixing tin and do a quick but firm ‘dry shake’ (without ice) to gently denature the proteins from the eggs a bit so that they’ll bind less and homogenize better with the other ingredients.  Next, add your creme, bourbon, syrup, bitters (I favored Fee’s over Angostura as it has a woodier, spicier cinnamon kick that just seems appropriate, here) and ice, then snap the tin back on and shake the bejezus out of it (you want to try to build up a nice froth).  Strain into a cocktail glass or coupe and grate some fresh nutmeg over the top.
Despite taking a great picture, it still needs some work.  The taste and texture was a little too watery for my liking; ideally I’m looking for a more viscous, smooth and creamy texture.  Just a little more fiddling and I should get it down, and when I do - you’ll know about it.

*clink!*