‘Tis definitely not the season

A thousand apologies for failing to deliver on that alternative holiday cocktail list I mentioned months ago.  For any of you surprised or offended by this lack of follow through, take that as an indication that you clearly aren’t familiar with how on top of things the boy behind this blog really is.

Timing aside, the concept of making holiday themed cocktails that don’t employ gross amounts of sugar, peppermint schnapps and candy canes was an intriguing one, so - while inexcusably late - I have not given up on it just yet.  As a matter of fact, I had - at the original time of the post - been offered a challenge upon mentioning the evils of the overly-processed, syrupy throat-spackle we commonly refer to as ‘eggnog’ when my dear friend and epicurean artíst, Gabriell, chose to advocate on behalf of ‘quality’ eggnog.  I was skeptical (as is my nature), but after making some eggnog from scratch for myself (eggs, heavy cream, milk, raw sugar, vanilla and homemade orange/clove infused brandy), I realized that there was such a thing as palatable - nay, decent - eggnog that wouldn’t leave you in a diabetic coma after one cup (okay, maybe it may still, but at least it wouldn’t taste like it).

I must be honest with you, this has been an epic move for me in terms of venturing further into the use and consumption of ‘raw’ animal products.  Seafood was a big jump for me in high school, but for ages raw eggs always translated to “salmonella” to me (remember: Chris = hypocondriac).  But here I was, mixing a dozen raw eggs into a beverage I’d be drinking neat…guts intact.

TANGENT: While we’re on the subject, I’m going to take this time to plug a ridiculous “beernog” recipe from a brilliant beer and cheese monger, Randy Clemens.  Give it a read, then read on.  Not only is he a better writer than I; he also touches on a broader scope of all things food-and-drink.  Speaking of which, he entered his own video in a contest to be on “Grill it! With Bobby Flay,” that you should vote for.  Not only does he deserve to win the spot, but I have asked him to kick Flay in the nuts for my own personal satisfaction in the event that he win (the former being very unlikely to occur).  Seriously, it’s a bad-ass video and recipe he shares: I’d watch it just for the food porn. Go. Do it now. Read this later…

Wait. Where was I going with this?  Where did this all come from!?

Oh right.

After revisiting one of my favorite comics, I was reminded of the few egg-containing cocktails I had had (namely, a ramos gin fizz  and a pisco sour) and felt that it was time to ’speriment, myself, all the while keeping Gabe’s original request for an eggnog-inclusive cocktail.  The specifics have to be ironed out, but here’s what I’ve got so far:

Hall o’ Deck

•  1.5 oz bourbon, rum or brandy

•  1/2 oz cinnamon simple syrup

•  3 dashes Fee Bros. Old-Fashioned bitters

•  2 oz heavy creme

•  1 small (preferably ‘farm-fresh’) egg

•  Fresh nutmeg

Start by separating the egg whites from the yolk into your mixing glass. You may use either egg whites (for a lighter drink) or yolk (for a heartier one), but I doubt you’d want the whole egg in there.  With either the whites or yolk in your mixing glass, engage your mixing tin and do a quick but firm ‘dry shake’ (without ice) to gently denature the proteins from the eggs a bit so that they’ll bind less and homogenize better with the other ingredients.  Next, add your creme, bourbon, syrup, bitters (I favored Fee’s over Angostura as it has a woodier, spicier cinnamon kick that just seems appropriate, here) and ice, then snap the tin back on and shake the bejezus out of it (you want to try to build up a nice froth).  Strain into a cocktail glass or coupe and grate some fresh nutmeg over the top.
Despite taking a great picture, it still needs some work.  The taste and texture was a little too watery for my liking; ideally I’m looking for a more viscous, smooth and creamy texture.  Just a little more fiddling and I should get it down, and when I do - you’ll know about it.

*clink!*

Hawt.

Before we get rolling: my deepest thanks to Ms. Kara Newman of Spice & Ice for a lovely write up following our brief interaction in regards to my looking for a proper protocol for making habañero simple syrup (results after the jump).  Her blog is chock-full of tasty recipes and tipple tips which I’m sure you’d all do well to peruse at great lengths.   …GREAT LENGTHS.

In the meantime, however: the RESULTS of perusal, followed by the brainchild of my spicy-tooth:

Habañero Simple Syrup

•  4 fresh habañero peppers

•  1 cup water

•   1 cup sugar

Much like every other simple syrup, birthing this one plays out nearly the same; bring water to boil; stir in sugar until dissolved; take off heat and immediately throw in peppers to steep while letting the solution cool, stirring occasionally.  2 very important things to mention, however …  when handling habañeros, I STRONGLY encourage you to wear some disposable polymer-based (latex…or in my case, commandeered nitrile) gloves as you need to cut the tops off of the peppers (and preferably slice them in two) in order to expose the seeds before steeping them.  The seeds and juice have the highest concentration of capsaicin which - due do it’s molecular structure - likes to stick around greasy areas such as YOUR SKIN.  So either be very careful to wash your hands with plenty of soap before touching anything else (eyes/genitals/loved ones…I have - nor want - any knowledge of how you live your personal lives) or wear yer dag gum PPE.

I am a hypochondriac.

The Serenity or “River Tam” Cocktail

(If you get it - great - if not, do not waste your time looking for the ‘Tam River’ on a map. Thanks to Gabe for suggesting the alternate naming)

•   1.5 oz rye or blanco/reposado tequila

•   Juice from 1/2 lime (about 3/4 oz)

•  1/2 oz habañero simple syrup

•  2 slices fresh ginger root

•  club soda

Pulverize 2 slices of ginger in habañero syrup, followed by adding spirit and squeezing in the lime.  Add ice and shake.  Pour into a low ball glass filled with ice (with strainer if you don’t want to chew on bits of ginger…which I tend to like) and top it off with club soda and give it a quick stir.  If you want, you can garnish with an extra wheel of lime, but - in all honesty - I only did it for show.

You’d never be able to tell from the aroma, but this beauty isn’t for the weak of heart.  It packs a punch, BUT…it is delish (I DO say so myself).  The heat from the syrup lingers and warms the gullet after the spiciness from the fresh ginger wake up the front of the palate.  Don’t be frightened, tho - all of this fire is pleasantly quenched by the lime and soda water as the rye (or tequila) lends a large hand balancing out what would otherwise be a hell of an alternative head-cold remedy.  Hmmmm, maybe THIS should have the pharmaceutical moniker.  Hot and refreshing.  You’ve been warned.